Losing a Friend

Today I found out that one of my favorite people among the Parkinson's Community died over the weekend. Ray Farkas was a super person as evidently many others felt that way too. His daughter posted a blogspot in his name and asked for contributions of "stories" that involved her dad and his career and life. I posted this:

I'm so sorry to hear the news about Ray! I, too, am one of the lucky people who have two holes drilled in my head along with all the other hardware necessary for the Deep Brain Stimulation. It was about six months after I had my brain surgery that I read something that Ray had written on the DBS group site on Yahoo. He was "singing" the praises of his surgeon, Chris Kalhorn, but he was also writing about his connections to his friend, Dr. Manjit Sanghera, a neuro-physicist in Dallas. When I realized that he was referring to one of the doctors who had been a part of the team who changed my life, I sent him an email telling him a little bit of my life as a PWP (Person with Parkinsons) and congratulating him on his successful surgery.

How exciting to get a phone call from him later on inviting me to be interviewed for part of his new film, “It Ain’t Television, It’s Brain Surgery.” Such a unique man and he was just as you’ve all described…easily making all of us feel at ease while he sort of “primed the pump” and got us talking about our life since our surgeries. I must be on camera for less than 60 seconds but Ray always made me feel like an important contributor to the film.

The next summer I was in Washington, DC, with my husband and Ray came to the hotel where we were staying to meet my husband and visit for a short while. When he came bounding in with a huge smile on his face and a large box in hand, he loudly greeted us and said, “Here’s something for you and your first grade students! “ It was a game similar to the old game of OPERATION but this game was called BRAIN SURGEON. It’s a game for small children with a rather silly looking character that speaks electronically. He pushed on the lighted red nose of the clown and it began yelling out “encouragements" and “gently ribbing” the players of the game. I loved it! I think Ray said he had two games like it (given to him by clever friends) and so he thought I would enjoy sharing it with my kids at school. He was right and that game was a big favorite for the next three years in my classroom on rainy or cold days. I retired from teaching last year with 25 years behind me--the last four years possible only because I can proudly claim to be “a DBSer.” That wheelchair that I was often teaching from, pre-DBS, was rolled into the attic and I haven’t needed it since that life-changing operation. I’m happy to be a member of the hole-in-the-head gang and enjoy singing the praises of my doctors ,just as Ray enjoyed sharing his experiences with prospective patients and others who just can’t seem to get past that idea of having a couple of holes drilled in their head.

I enjoyed Ray’s sense of humor and his love of life. I hope that I can be a great “encourager” and “demonstrator” for other PWP just as Ray was to so many people. I will always remember Ray’s enthusiasm and his positive attitude. I was blessed by my encounters with Ray. May I be for others what Ray was for many…a positive, enthusiastic well wisher!

Now that I think about it, it probably seems a little bit unusual to be able to refer to someone as a friend that I've only actually seen and talked with about 4 times but that's just the way Ray was...he made you feel as if you were HIS friend and he was...you can read more about him and even look at some of his films online at http://www.offcentertv.com

To all old friends...thanks for being there when you are needed!